daisy, let it go.

I don't know.
I'm scared.
Scared that I'm falling too deep, too soon, too fast.

I don't even know why I'm crying anymore.

jue*giving isn't easy.

why another day?

Bold the statements that are true to you.
Italicize the statements that you WISH are true
Leave the fibs alone.

1) I miss somebody right now.
2) I do not watch TV these days.
3) I wear glasses or contact lenses.
4) I love to play video games.
5) I have tried marijuana.
6) I have been in a threesome
7) I believe honesty is the best policy.
8) I have changed mentally over the past year.
9) I curse.
10) I'm like totally smart.
11) I’ve broken someone’s bones.
12) I’m paranoid sometimes.
13) I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
14) I need money right now.
15) I love sushi.
16) I talk really, really fast.
17) I have long hair.
18) I have lost money in Las Vegas.
19) I have at least one sibling.
20) I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
21) I couldn't survive without Caller ID.
22) I like the way I look.
23) I am usually pessimistic.
24) I have a lot of mood swings.
25) I have a hidden talent.
26) I’m always hyper.
27) I have a lot of friends.
28) I have pecked someone of the same sex.
29) I enjoy talking on the phone.
30) I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
31) I love to shop.
32) I enjoy window shopping.
33) I would rather shop than eat.
34) I don’t hate anyone.
35) I’m a pretty good dancer.
36) I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother
37) I have a cell phone.
38) I believe in God.
39) I am an adrenaline junkie.
40) I watch MTV on a daily basis.
41) I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
42) I’ve rejected someone before.
43) I want to have children in the future.
44) I have changed a diaper before.
45) I’ve called the cops on a friend before.
46) I’m not allergic to anything.
47) I have a lot to learn.
48) I’m shy around members of the opposite sex.
49) I have made a move on a friends’ significant other or crush in the past.
50) I have tried alcohol before.
51) I own the South Park movie.
52) I would die for my best friend.
53) I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
54) I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
55) I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
56) Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
57) I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
58) I am happy at this moment.
59) I’m obsessed with girls/guys.
60) I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I’ve ever met.
61) I study for tests most of the time.
62) I am comfortable with who I am right now.
63) I have more than just my ears pierced.
64) I walk barefoot wherever I can.
65) I have jumped off a bridge.
66) I love sea turtles.
67) I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
68) I plan on achieving a major goal & dream.
69) I’m proficient in a musical instrument.
70) I hate office jobs.
71) I love sci-fi movies.
72) I think water rules.
73) I went college out of state.
74) I like sausages.
75) I love kisses.
76) I fall for the worst people.
77) I adore bright colours.
78) I can’t live without black eyeliner.
79) I don’t know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.
80) I usually like covers better than originals.
81) I can pick up things with my toes.
82) I can whistle.
83) I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snake’s slither.
84) I have ridden/owned a horse.
85) I still have every journal I’ve written in.
86) I can’t stick to a diet.
87) I talk in my sleep.
88) I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
89) I have jazz in my blood.
90) Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
91) I wear a toe ring.
92) I can’t stand at LEAST one person that I work go to school with.
93) I am a caffeine junkie.
94) I cosplay or know what cosplay or cosaplying means.
95) I have been to over 15 conventions.
96) I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical the better.
97) I’m an artist.
98) I only clean my room when necessary.
99) I like a person of the same sex.
100) I love being happy.

jue*you're every minute of my everyday.

you're the ultimate you.

I've never been related to someone who has passed away because of cancer, so I can't say I know how you feel. But I do know that the last thing you want to hear would be someone asking you to move on and let it go.

So I guess the most appropriate thing I can say is,

To my darling junior and friend, times will be rough, but things will get better eventually. I've known you for years now and I know despite all this, you'll be able to stay strong. Your brothers need you right now, so stay strong for them.

And to you who doesn't read my blog, I hope somehow you know that my prayers are with you. I believe that those who leave us at such a young age were here for a certain purpose, and now that she's been relieved of all pain, I'm sure that whatever she was meant to do has been done.

My condolences are with both your families. May both of them rest in peace.

jue*my heart's gonna find you.

Is it just me or this past week has just been about people leaving due to cancer? It could be sheer coincidence but it either way, it's freaking me out. Not to mention that Jon's one year anniversary would be in less than two weeks time. I don't know. I was just thinking about it.

of sand, sun and beach.

Maybe it's the fact that I've been awake for a good couple of hours with nothing better to do but think.

Maybe it's the fact that my phone hasn't been ringing and the only messages I've got so far did nothing to brighten my morning.

Maybe it's the fact that we're all beginning to lose touch with each other even though high school isn't over.

Maybe it's the fact that I don't want to move on, I don't want to get out of my comfort zone, I don't want to leave the memories behind.

Maybe it's the fact that reality is slowly swallowing me whole and as much as I try to swim up to the surface, all I'm doing is drowning even deeper.

Maybe it's the fact that I just miss those four solid days spent with the people I cherish the most doing nothing but enjoying each other's company.

Okay, I'm finally admitting it.

Despite all the crap that happened there,

I really do miss Rompin.

jue*you're my get away car.

i'm bringing sexy back.

I tried typing out a post on the incident that happened in school today involving me, my orange top and a silly junior that needs to learn some respect.

I even wanted to tell her off in school today but I think I proved my own presumption that I'm not a very angry person. Sure, I can be bitchy (at times) but even as that stupid no brain girl Form 1 kid stood that yelling at me like she's the boss of me, I didn't so much as budge. My friends on the other hand took the opportunity to put her right back at her place, but my anger level didn't so much as increase by a notch.

Like seriously, I didn't even scream at her.

And I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

Oh well. Let's just hope I don't bump into her in school (that's if I can recognize such an idiotic face) cause strings of sentences have been forming in my head and I really wish I could tell her off.

Hopefully, any junior that happens to stumble upon this page would take note that even though I don't approve of the whole SeniorJunior (no, I don't mean the band) segregation, a little respect won't do you any harm especially considering that we've been in the school much longer compared to your short seven months here. I know respect may be a foreign word to you as it can be seen by your spoilt behaviour in school, but it really is never too late to learn.

Or maybe I shouldn't waste my time over things like this. Maybe I shouldn't even bother. I don't know.

I miss Cina Boyy.

jue*let it go, let it all go.

pain, give yourself a name.

SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain

Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask 'How are you?'
Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,"Hi".

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere,
You miss half the fun of getting there
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift
Thrown away.

Life is not a race
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

jue*tears stream down you face when you lose something you can't replace.

blue candles.

Happy Birthday Jon.

jue*cause baby i will wait for you.

julie's addiction.

I'm still quite amused at the way fate works. Little did I know that when I was having all my doubts, you were feeling the same way. Never would I have guessed that we would end up where we are right now with our daily conversations and midnight talks. I have no complaints, cause for the first time in the last couple of weeks, I'm truly absolutely happy.

It's only been about a month, but so far I have no regrets.

You'd probably be reading this some time soon and although I've said this before, I'll say it again; I like the way we are now and most of all, I like you, and that's all that really matters :).

I can't wait to have your pick around my neck <3.

jue*you don't know what it's been like meeting someone like you.

the geek in me.

The plan was perfect.

We had the transport sorted out, we had our dad's permission (after all, my dad did partially approve it), we had our cover up story, we had the movie tickets booked and we had our post-plan ready. We basically had everything.

Then my mum had to flip out, change her mind and say no.

...fifteen minutes before I was supposed to leave to Zhen's house.

And this btw, is just a while after I convinced Zhen to convince her mum to let her go. So of course my dad has to agree to my mum because that's just how the household works. And they even had the cheek to joke about it with their friends the next night.

It's times like this when I get really frustrated. So after apologizing countless of times to Zhen, I went into my room, slammed the door and went to bed. Mind you, it was only 9.00pm.

What am I talking about?

Oh well. My brother went to pick up the book we pre ordered at OU and hogged the book for the entire weekend. So I only started the book around 6.00pm on Sunday and I just finished the book on Tuesday. I expected some parts and some were spoilt by my inconsiderate friends (yes, I'm still pissed off) but all in all, it was a pretty good book despite some confusing parts.

I'm not entirely sure if like or hate the book. But I thought the ending was pretty weak, especially the 'Nineteen Years Later' bit.

I wonder when would be the next time something as phenomenal as Harry Potter can conquer the lives of so many people - not just kids, but adults as well. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

As for now, the final chapter of Harry Potter has come to an end and the only things left for us are the two remaining movies. Let's hope that doesn't get screwed up. Haha.

jue*because that's the way we get by.

i need an escape route.

I haven't been blogging properly because I really have nothing to blog about. And the things that could be blogged about, well, I rather keep them private. So here's a little something something I've come across. And as much as I despise putting up forwarded junk on my blog or putting up 'advice' written by other people because most of the time it's crap, but I guess this is all I can entertain you with. Enjoy.

From a guys point of view;

We don't care if you talk to other guys.

We don't care if you're friends with other guys.

But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, it pisses us off.

And it doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.

We don't care if a guy calls you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned.

Nothing is that important at 2 am that it can't wait till the morning.

Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/cute/stunning, we freaking mean it.

Don't tell us we're wrong.

We'll stop trying to convince you.

One of the sexiest thing about a girl is her confidence.

Don't be mad when we hold the door open.

Take advantage of the mood we're in.

Let us pay for you.

Don't "feel bad" about it.

We enjoy doing it. It's expected.

Smile and say "thank you."

Kiss us when no one's watching.

If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.

You don't have to get dressed up for us.

If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own.

We like you for who you are and not what you are.

Honestly, a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's.

Or my tshirt and boxers, not all dolled up.

Don't take everything we say seriously.

Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.

Don't get angry easily.

Stop using magazines/media as your bible.

Don't talk about how hott Morris Chesnutt, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us.

It's boring, and we don't care.

You have girlfriends for that.

Girls, I cannot stress this enough;

If you aren't being treated right by a guy, dont't wait for him to change. Ditch the sorry disgrace to the male population ass and find someone who will treat you with utter respect.

Someone who will honor your morals.

Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.

Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.

Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel, or what you do.

Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes and say "I love you", and actually mean it.

Give the nice guys a chance.

Crap, it's only been an hour and I'm already missing your company. I am so not cockwhipped, Mandy.

jue*they're trying to make me go to rehab.

he'll have you suicidal.

Because I'm his. Just his.

jue*and things like chemistry.

you'd be loved and i'd be a liar.

Please don't let me fall in like with you.

I cannot take another heartb-r-e-a-k.

jue*we'll make it loud cause nobody's there.

you're burning bridges baby.

What type of guy are you into?

GANGSTER
[] Diamond studs in their ear(s).
[] Big, baggy shirts.
[X] Pants that are down far enough so you can see their boxers.
[X] Short hair.
[] Expensive shoes.
[] "Bling".
[] Slang (wut up dawg, etc.).
[] Fancy watches.
[] Listens to rap.

Total: 2

SKATER
[X] Wears skate shoes.
[] Skates.
[] Long hair.
[] Tight pants.
[X] Tan.
[X] Athletic.
[] Wears hats.
[X] Listens to rock.
[] Wears brands like Element, Zoo York, etc.

Total: 4

EMO/SCENE
[] Straightens hair.
[] Wears eyeliner.
[] Lip piercing.
[] Paints nails black.
[] Tight pants.
[] Listens to emo music.
[] Likes Hawthorne Heights.
[] Quiet.
[] Writes poetry/song lyrics.
[] Wears alot of black.

Total: 0

PUNK ROCKER
[] Wears Tripp pants.
[] Piercings.
[X] Tattoos.
[] Hair dyed unnatural colors.
[] Funky hairstyles (mohawks and the like).
[X] Wears converses.
[] Pants with chains.
[] Listens to punk music.
[] Wears plaid.
[X] Plays guitar/drums/other instrument.
[] Doesn't care what people think; confidence.

Total: 3

GOTH
[] Wears alot of black.
[] Shops at Hot Topic.
[] Wears black makeup.
[] Wears combat boots.
[] Wears pants with straps.
[] Black hair.
[] Long hair.
[] Listens to death metal.
[] Pale.
[] Hates the world.
[] Writes poetry/song lyrics.

Total : 0

GAMER
[] Plays lots of video games.
[] On the computer alot.
[] Plays online games.
[] Constantly talks about games.
[] Will play games with you fairly.
[] Wears glasses.
[X] Good with computers.

Total: 1

REDNECK
[] Lives on a farm.
[X] Strong.
[X] Tan.
[X] Loves animals.
[X] Hardworking.
[] Has alot of redneck customs.
[] Enjoys riding on his tractor.
[] Listens to country music.

Total: 4

ANIME/MANGA FREAK
[] Likes anime.
[] Likes manga.
[] Has a room full of anime/manga stuff.
[] Listens to J-rock or J-pop.
[] Dresses in Japanese street fashion.
[] Asian.
[] Talks about anime/manga constantly.
[] Can speak a bit of Japanese.

Total: 0

NERD
[X] Knows HTML/CSS/other computer language.
[] Has their own website.
[] On the computer 24/7.
[] Has glasses.
[] Quiet and reserved.
[] Goes on forums.
[] Listens to any type of music.

Total: 1

SMART
[] Types with proper grammar and spelling online.
[X] Is a good writer.
[X] Has a big vocabulary.
[] Always answers your questions.
[X] Helps you with homework.
[X] Can have a decent intelligent conversation.
[X] Knows alot about politics and other things most kids aren't into.
[] Has smart comebacks and knows how to defend themselves.

Total: 5

Dear God,
Please find me an intelligent skater boyy longing to be a redneck punk rocker that wears his pants so far down I can see his boxers and knows some stuff about computers.

It's not that hard, right? :)

p/s Please make him tall&skinny too.

jue*i know you think that i shouldn't still love you.

i think i'll start over.

AIYOHDAMMITIWANNAGOOUTWITHYOUCANNOTISIT?CANYOUPLEASEASKMEOUTBECAUSEMYEGOISTOOBIGFORME

TOASKYOUANDSTOPPERVINGOVERLITTLEFORMTHREEKIDSCAN?

Talk about releasing stress.

So the original plan was for Zhen and I to go watch Harry Potter today. Then it evolved into Zhen, Hang, David, Hameer and I. Then Nique jumped aboard. Then David couldn't come so Ieka took his ticket. And Hang couldn't come so Elena took hers. But then Ieka said she couldn't come so Bree took her ticket and Elena said she'll only take the ticket if I can't give it off to someone else. Then Bree couldn't make it so I was left with two extra tickets.

Then at night I asked Kim to come along but he said he couldn't so Elena said she'll come and Vid took the other ticket which solved my problem temporarily though I was itching to ask someone else to come watch the movie just because I felt in need of his company. But I didn't which I kinda regret now cause I reallyreallyreally miss his company. So it was settled - Zhen, Meer, Vid, Elena, Nique and I.

Or so we thought, cause Vid smsed in the morning saying she can't make it which meant I was left with another ticket. I tried calling a bunch of people only to come to several dead ends. Zhen told me to ask BelleAznamMiriamandIdon'tknowwhoelsecauseshewasthrowingnamesabout. Then Belle could have taken the ticket but she couldn't so Elena said Esther might want it so I told Zhen to ask Basil but she didn't. and then during tuition, Elena asked Esther to call which she did and that was great but then Meer called to say he couldn't come so I was still left with an extra ticket.

If you read all of that, you've succesfully wasted about 48 seconds of your life. Anyway, Ju Beng came in the end and completed the ZhenEstherNiqueJueElena circle.

Despite objections from my friends, I reread the fifth book before the movie, not to compare but it was just fun noting the differences between the book and the movie (just because I'm a HP geek). I was watching the movie just as a movie and it wasn't that bad really. In fact, I pretty much enjoyed it but I'm guessing that's partially because of the company.

As we walked into the cinema, Elena proudly told the whole cinema, "BUT THEN SIRIUS DIES LA RIGHT?". Or something along those lines. Haha.

I actually think we were pretty quiet during the entire movie with the minor exceptions of our jakun moments. Like when I started clapping when Fred&George left Hogwards and the people next to Nique started doing the same. Or all the disapproaving noises I made whenever Cho Chang/Hermione the Great came on screen. Although I was four seats down, I could still hear Zhen and all her laughing. I guess Nique and my earlier games of "Not It" as we were deciding who to sit next to didn't really work. Haha.

I think the young James looks more like Cedric Diggory. I think CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory's mum did very well as Bellatrix. I think there should been more of Draco Malfoy and Neville. I wish they mentioned Hermione&Ron as prefects. I think they should have made Padfoot a bigger dog (like the third movie). I think they shouldn't make Hermione so smart. I think Fred&George are as adorable as ever. I think Dumbledore shouldn't be running around so much. I think I'm very opinionated on this but I'm too much of a fan to not hate it.

Oh and Esther ate most of my share of the popcorn.

"OMG DARTH VADER!"
"Why would he kiss her? Like hello, she's chinese."

"Crap, she reminds me of Meredith."

"She looks like someone from Mainland China."

Okay I can't remember the other things we talked about. I think we succesfully annoyed Nique. I think the guy next to her who kept on going, "SHYTSHYTSHYT" during all the suspense annoyed Nique. Haha. But it was good la. I enjoyed it :). I like sitting next to EstherTheCokeStealer. (Yes I know it rhymes, I'm quite the talent).

Me : "Well Zhen's the tallest so she can be the dad."

Nique : "I think you just insulted Ju Beng."

And of course the day wouldn't be complete without camwhoring (in the toilet as well of course!) but we have to wait for Elena for that. Btw, GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR UNDANG! :). You better not fail the colour test man.

So yeah. Today was memorable. No complaints. Really.

"I think I'll go have some pudding."

jue*you are the greatest drug.

show me some love, you ain't that tough.

My 111-th post. I actually have quite a bit to blog about, but I'm a little lazy and I can't exactly bring myself to blog properly because the room hasn't stopped spinning just yet. Due to earlier obligations as a prefect (besides, getting a fake MC is too troublesome), today is the first day I've skipped school. But I do have my reasons. I couldn't, however, escape waking up early cause a certain teacher decided to message me to show his undying love. Haha.

I'm going to watch Harry Potter after tuition today. So what if I couldn't go watch the first movie (actually I could have, except all my friends are in school), at least I'm going today.

Anyhoo, here's random pictures from school yesterday.

These two knuckle heads are the people sitting behind me in class. And fyi, yes Ieka&Nique, you two drive me insane.

Studying is pretty much optional in school. I choose to re-read Harry Potter. It's far more interesting than to listen to Mrs. Tomato Head ramble on something about Add Math.

Ieka's head has been Spongebob-ed (like I said I would) cause she's quite shy and wouldn't allow me to post this pictures up unless I did. Besides, I think I think I look quite pretty.

Oh, and Arina drew this on Monday when the prefects decided to wear turquiose for a day. Even as a cartoon pixie, I look so adorable. I love my wings :).

Check this post later on for pictures of the game Nique&I played during Mod Maths. The results are shocking :O.

jue*should have given you a reason to stay.

his hands are mine to hold.

Mums-Uniting-Mums

I know a lot of you probably wouldn't be interested because this isn't an issue held close to your heart and that really isn't your fault. But it would mean a lot if you could just please take a look at the site above and show some support for Aunty Agnes. Then do a good deed and pass the url to anyone else you know whether it's friends, your parents, other family members or anyone else that may be willing to lend a helping hand or get involved. It'll only take less than five minutes :). Your small action could mean the world to another person. Thanks.

----------------------------------------------------------------

11 months;
We're almost reaching a year but the feeling hasn't changed;

I still miss you Jon.

jue*oh it's what you do to me.

like lipstick stains on his collar.

Yesterday marked the seventh day of the seventh month of the seventh year in this millenium. And while others rushed to get married or spent their day doing something remotely significant, I spent my entire afternoon watching the Concert For Diana while doing copying Add Math homework.

And today marks one year since last year's Hari Keusahawanan and I only remember it because tomorow, the 9th, would mark one year since this.

jue*show me some love, you ain't that tough.

i'd be right beside you here.

It's almost routine for me to wake up really early in the morning to practice piano before class. Blame procrastination, blame laziness. So I dragged my lazy ass out of bed, walked down the steps, rubber my eyes a couple hundred of times and practiced the softess I can for the fear of waking up my parents (who would normally later come down and nag me for doing everything at the last minute).

You could say I was pretty surprised to see my mum down at 7.00am on a Saturday morning and I was even more surprised when she didn't even say a thing when she saw me 'sneekily' playing the piano. It wasn't until an hour later when I walked into the kitchen that my mum broke the news - "Jamie died last night". I was in denial, like anyone else would have been, I told my mum she must be just resting. But when I looked over and saw her stomach not moving the slightest bit, I knew this wasn't some sort of joke.

I was later told that my brother had gone to check on Jamie around 1 in the morning, just before he went to bed. She was already very weak by then, barely being able to move. He called out for her and she didn't answer, he approached her and she didn't move. He told my dad and they both knew what it meant - they just didn't bother to wake me up.

I feel partially guilty for actually admitting to not feeling as much as when Prince died so many years back. I know my dad and brother feel it the most, it still shows on their face now (well at least my dad's). Jamie had been with us since I was four and now twelve years later, the house is missing something - it's just hard to explain. I can remember clearly the day after she was given to us. My mum woke me up early in the morning, carried me to my brother's room window and I looked outside, watching this puppy running around in the garden.

It still hasn't quite sunk in yet - just like any other death. I go home and walk to the kitchen door, out of habit hoping to see her there, but she isn't and it's just weird, I suppose. I don't think many people would understand the true emotion behind this post - not unless you've lost a pet yourself.

And even if I wasn't the greatest dog lover or the best (semi)owner to you,

I still miss you Jamie Bell :(.

jue*i know you still think that i shouldn't still love you.

Because I've got nothing else to blog about;

HOW OLD DO YOU ACT?

Put an x in the ones you do then add it up and thats your age!

[ ]I know how to make a pot of coffee.
[ ]I do my own laundry.
[x]I can cook for myself.
[x]I actually enjoy intellectual conversations.
[x] I think politics are exciting.
[ ] My parents and grandparents have better things to say than my friends.

Total : 3

[x] I show up for school and/or work every day unless I'm sick.
[ ] I always carry a pen in my pocket/purse.
[x] I've never gotten a detention.
[ ] I've watched talk shows to point out the credibility of it all.
[ ] I drink coffee at least once aweek.

Total so far : 5

[x] I know how to run the dish washer and or do the dishes.
[ ] I can count to 10 in Italian.
[ ] When I say I'm going to do something, I do it.
[ ] My parents trust me.
[x] I can mow the lawn.
[x] I can make adults laugh without being stupid.
[ ] I remember to water my plants.
[ ] I study when I have to.
[ ] I pay attention at school.
[ ] I remember to feed my pets.

Total so far : 8

[x] I can spell experience without looking it up.
[x] I clean up my own mess.
[ ] The first thing I do when I get home is get a soda/drink.
[x] I can go to the store without getting something I don't need.
[x] I understand jokes the first time they are said.
[x] I can type fast.

Total so far : 13

[ ] I have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour.
[x] I can look at someone hot without thinking of sex.
[x] I realize that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job.

[x] I can read a book and actually finish it.

Total : 16

I actually do act my age :). And just because I reallyreally have nothing better to do;

HOW STUPID ARE YOU?
18 or lower means you're not stupid.

[ ] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.
[ ] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.
[x] You have ran into a glass/screen door.
[ ] You have jumped out/off of a moving vehicle.
[x] You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.

So far: 2

[x] You have ran into a tree/bush.
[ ] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow.
[x] You have tried to lick your elbow.
[x] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm.
[x] You just tried to sing them.

So far: 6

[ ] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
[ ] You have choked on your own spit.
[x] You have seen the Matrix and still don't get it.
[ ] You've never seen the Matrix.
[ ] You type only with two fingers.

So far: 7

[x] You have accidentally caught something on fire.
[ ] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes.
[x] You have caught yourself drooling.
[x] You've fallen asleep in class.
[ ] If someone says "fart" you laugh.

So far: 10

[x] Sometimes you just stop thinking.
[x] You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about.
[ ] People are often shaking their heads and walk away from you.
[ ] You are often told to use your "inside voice".
[x] You use your fingers to do simple math.

So far: 13

[ ] You have eaten a bug.
[x] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important.
[ ] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it.
[ ] You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand.

So far: 14

[ ] You repost bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don't.
[ ] You break a lot of things.

So far: 14

[ ] Your friends know not to use big words around you.
[x] You tilt your head when you're confused.
[x] You have fallen out of your chair before.

So far: 16

[x]When you're lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling/wall
[x] The word "umm" is used many times a day.

Total : 18

Okay, this isn't working. I'm still bored.

jue*more than meets the eye.

silence is overrated.

A few months back, as we were slowly drifting apart, I painfully put my ego aside, and messaged you. I couldn't stand the prolonged silence between us and despite a few hiccups down the road, I've never looked back since.

But then I check my comments on Friendster and I see one from you - in April. It may have been random and it may be just another comment to other people, but it showed me something - no matter what, you're always the one to make the first move. I thought I was being the bigger person by putting aside our differences and reconciling the relationship, but it was you, you made the first step.

And for that I thank you.

Don't get me wrong, I'm neither sad nor am I happy. I'm no where close to being emo or going through one of those unspeakable phases again. I'm not feeling as bad as I did before. In fact, I'm not feeling bad at all.

A few nights back, I had a dream. It felt so surreal, I had to check it was really just a dream when I woke up the next morning. Last night, I had another. This time we were out for dinner where I confessed every thing to you. It felt more surreal than the last, I can still remember every detail of the dream. Just thinking about it again scares the crap out of me.

It's pretty plain to see that you still mean the world to me. You're in my thoughts more that you'll ever know. You're just there, always. And at this point, I don't need to be in a relationship with you and I don't need to here those three words again. I just need to know if you feel you feel the same way I do - that this flame will never be rekindled, nor will it ever be put out.

jue*i think i'll start over.

I tried writing a post on us stepping down from prefects today but everything doesn't seem to be coming out right. I'll edit this soon. Promise.

p/s Valentine's Day Dance ; Prefect camp.

you never were a friend of mine.

I don't like being questioned on my morals or ethics when I know there's nothing wrong with them. To each his own - we have our own views and takes on things and I shouldn't be ridiculed or be shot down just because I'm more open minded than the others that share the same class as me.

We were having a discussion on homosexuality issues during PJ today. We voiced out our opinions, sharing our advice for the problems some people faced with this rising issue. It's amazing many of them are living in dillusion by their little bubble surrounding their lives that they're so ignorant or native towards this. But at one point, I was really peeved when some people in my class chose to preach on religion and how in goes against everything we've been 'put on earth' for.

Anyone close enough to me would know I'm very opinionated when it comes to certain issues and although I'm not denying anyone of their right to their opinion, something with them going on and on about how those indulging in homosexuality acts are sinners and should redeem themselves with God just ticked me off.

Who set these rules? Who drew the line between what is right and what is wrong when it comes to being with the person you love? I confidently voiced out my opinion to the class that everyone is given a choice into liking and being with anyone they like. If that other person so happens to be a person of the same gender, then so be it. I was immediately frowned upon by my teacher who gave the whole 'The main purpose for us being here is to reproduce' speech which I thought is utter ludicrous. I had no intention on implying that everyone should be running off dating people of their same gender but I simply meant that we all have the right to choose to who we want to spend the rest of our life with. Just because some percentage of the world's population choose to not follow the norm (assuming the norm is to be with someone of the opposite sex) doesn't mean the world is going to end.

I know this post may be objected by many and this issue is a rather debatable one but it's just something that has stuck to my mind for the whole of today. Despite what my classmates may think, we have no right to think that it is our duty to correct every wrong in the world, that it is our duty to make everyone think in a certain manner or to change who they are.

This post in no way is directed to anyone. I'm just (once again) voicing out my opinion. If this offended anyone, then I'm sorry as it wasn't intentional. If you don't agree with what I think, then that's really your choice.

Gosh, it feels so good to actually openly blog about something.

jue*there's no going back since i've let myself fall in love with you.

the colours all have faded into shades of gray.

I would have never thought I'd be singing along to Katherine McPhee lyrics;

Wanting you, to be wanting me,

No, that ain't no way to be,

How I feel, read my lips,

Because I'm so over..

Moving on, it's my time,

You never were a friend of mine,

Hurt at first, a little bit,

But now I'm so over,

I'm so over it.

jue*until love can redeem us.