good morning heartache.

i'm not dead.

kthxbye.

jue*and you're the only place that feels like home.

my goodbye letter.

I sit here crying and you know what I'm realizing? That its okay to cry because I lost something that I really cared about, something that I'm not too sure I can get back...You. And even though I know you're not crying over me, I still can't let go, cause I love you and I'm not sure how but I do and it's okay to cry.

jue*love is the most beautiful of dreams and the worst of nightmares.

cheer all out or don't cheer at all.

It's finally over. Months of training, hours of dedication and buckets of tears. It's all finally come to an end. Cheer 06' has come and gone just as quickly as the wind blows by. Although D*sTarZ didn't do as well as i hoped they would have done, we improved on the second day, and showed those who doubted as what we've really got.

I hope its not to late for me to thank whoever who were kind enough to push their other obligations away, and come and show those performing some love, to show that our hardwork and dedication was not wasted. And an extra big thank you and a wet sloppy kiss for you if you came for D*sTaRz. I don't think a team has ever made me feel so dedicated to a sport then the team I have had. And to all my friends, close or not, one and a half warm fuzzy hugs for you to showing that you care. The crowd was simply amazing this year, and the support from you guys was even more. I'll never forget the shouts and screams I heard from you guys as I stepped onto the blue mat. No amount of words would be able to express how grateful I am. :)

You might be wondering why Cheer this year is such a big deal for me. Its my second year performing and for whatever support I didn't get last year, this year surely made up for it. I'm pretty sure this year would be my last on the blue mat as I'll be making way for better members to join the team next year. So yeah, its basically my last year performing at National's. I tried to make every moment last a lifetime, taking mental images since I was too lazy to whip out my camera. I doubt I'll ever forget my friends coming to support the team, Redha lying to me, the superb performances, the tears, the laughs, the screams, the boards, the tickle fights and the kisses. Everyone played a part in making the last two days nothing short of amazing.

And last but definately not least, to the team I've grown to love - its gonna take a while till I get used to not spending every minute of every day during and after school with you guys. To all our whacked up fun, to the arguments, to the mood swings, to the injuries, to the pictures, to all the fun and laughter that has now become priceless. I'll most certainly be missing each one of you; Aina, Ain Z, Ain B, Aishah, Amanda, Afifah, Carmen, Dayah, Esther, Hana Sepet, Hana Bulat, Laksh, Layla, Liy, Taty, Poly, Waniey, Zati and not forgetting Jude. I would forever hold dear to the memories that we've built, the life lessons that we've learnt and the obstacles that we've overcome all as a team.

WHAT TEAM?

D*sTaRz!

jue*i think the hardest part of holding on is letting go.