A few months back, as we were slowly drifting apart, I painfully put my ego aside, and messaged you. I couldn't stand the prolonged silence between us and despite a few hiccups down the road, I've never looked back since.
But then I check my comments on Friendster and I see one from you - in April. It may have been random and it may be just another comment to other people, but it showed me something - no matter what, you're always the one to make the first move. I thought I was being the bigger person by putting aside our differences and reconciling the relationship, but it was you, you made the first step.
And for that I thank you.
Don't get me wrong, I'm neither sad nor am I happy. I'm no where close to being emo or going through one of those unspeakable phases again. I'm not feeling as bad as I did before. In fact, I'm not feeling bad at all.
A few nights back, I had a dream. It felt so surreal, I had to check it was really just a dream when I woke up the next morning. Last night, I had another. This time we were out for dinner where I confessed every thing to you. It felt more surreal than the last, I can still remember every detail of the dream. Just thinking about it again scares the crap out of me.
It's pretty plain to see that you still mean the world to me. You're in my thoughts more that you'll ever know. You're just there, always. And at this point, I don't need to be in a relationship with you and I don't need to here those three words again. I just need to know if you feel you feel the same way I do - that this flame will never be rekindled, nor will it ever be put out.
jue*i think i'll start over.
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