gone but not forgotten.

Hey Jon,

Time passed by so quickly. Its been three days already since you left us to join the angels above. I finally went to your house today, after you trying to make me go for so long. Its so pretty, up on a hill where it feels like you could overlook the world. So like you, to be watching over everyone else.

I met your aunts, saw your cousins, your sister, your brother and of course your parents. It seems like your family has a streak of good looking genes. You fitted right in. I couldn't go inside your house immediately. I sat down for a little while, Vid and Jil by my side. Slowly, I gathered all my thoughts about you. The memories you've left me. Do you remember the gathering two years ago? Or the time where you grabbed my hand and dragged me out during your campfire to play Love Tunnel? I definately remember the time you almost lost our Cheer performance CD, and the time you faced your fears and sang two songs I'll never forget.

After a while, I got up to walk inside. One of your aunts greeted me and brought me to see you. I'm so sorry Jon. You always told me to be strong. The first time you told me what the doctors told you, I just couldn't help but cry. You were only 15 then. Only 15, but so strong in spirit. You told me not to cry, not to worry. But this time, as I saw you laying there, cross over your chest, I couldn't hold myself together anymore. You reminded me of the first time we met, where you were wearing that exact same uniform, your Scouts uniform. You talked so much about Scouts last time. You were so dedicated and passionate about it. Think of Jon, think of Scouts. You looked so peaceful, like there was nothing in the world that could bother you. The suffering had ended for you and I'm happy for that.

When I wanted to open my mouth to speak, words had failed me. I stood there, looking down, knowing that you understood everything I was going to say. You always had that about you. I didn't need to speak for you to understand what I was going through. You never let me feel like I was alone. You pretended to be interested just so I'll have someone to rant to about things that seem so small now. Pictures of you were framed up around. The white leaftlet handed out had a picture of you too. Even now you still look like the charming guy I once fell in like with.

Soon, the Victorians started coming. I'm amazed how just one person could bring so many people together. Friends of friends, friends of friends of friends. The world was so closely connected through you. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have participated in last year's Treasure Hunt. I wouldn't have met Ming, Dan, Zam or any other Victorian. People talked about what a gentleman you are. About how you lived your life with all optimism and full of love. I sat there quietly learning things about you that you yourself couldn't tell me. I never knew you played the trumpet in primary school. Your mum sang Amazing Grace just like you wished. You had never let me read the poems you wrote, but today one of them was read. It was beautiful.

Later, we walked through the roads you once used to play on, the neighbourhood you grew up in. I walked with Jil, taking in the sights and sounds that you experienced. When we reached Kampung Tunku, we said out last goodbyes, placing white roses on you. I took a last glance at your face and wished you well. I silently prayed that you would always remember us, because we certainly could never forget you. I couldn't stay for long, there were plenty of other people that came to see you off as well.

I stood at the back of the crowd crying once again. You bring back so many emotions to me, I should be declared Supergirl if I managed to keep them all in. As I was walking out, I looked back just one last time. I'm not sure if I've accepted the fact that I'll never see you physically again but I do know that there's a little part of you in all of us.

Jon, you lived a life so short, but so fulfilling. You've touched so many people in so many different ways. You had this way of talking to people you've just met as though you've known them for ages. You made each and every person you've come across feel so special. And most of all, you've made me feel so special in ways I couldn't imagine. The lessons you've thought me I could and would never forget. I'm sure I'll be seeing you in your next life.

May you rest in peace.

jue*everytime you do that thing you do.