and grace will lead me home.

Amazing Grace,
how sweet the sound,
that saved a wretch like me.

I know there isn't anything I can say that could make this all go away. And there really isn't much I can do to make things better.

I cannot possibly imagine all the emotions you might be feeling right now but rest assured, you and your family are still in our prayers.

Somehow, someday, you will get through this.

I once was lost but now am found,

Was blind, but now I see.

bob the builder.

Heh, bimbo moment x2.

vote in the box.

"If there is anyone out there who doubts that America is a place where anything is possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer. Young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled, Americans have sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of red states and blue states. We have been and always will be the United States of America. It’s been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this election,
at this defining moment,
change has come to America."

to fill or burst.

My left shoulder and wrist is starting to act up. It's weird because it's been three whole years since that somewhat minor injury and yet I still can't exert too much pressure on it. I feel crippled >: (. Anyhoo, I figured this is probably just the result of a new (insane) regime I've started.

So daddy dearest helped apply some deep heat because seriously, the pain was (to put it mildly) - excruciating.

What struck me was how just the smell of the deep heat itself could send me on a trip down memory lane. The stadium, the boy dramas and flings, the roti pisang, the starter gun and most of all, the adrenalin that flowed through every inch of your body just as you approach the line and placed your feet on the starter blocks.

There's just nothing like that in college anymore. Nothing that can even come close.

I miss it all, I do - the sights, the sounds, the people.

take it all.

Needless to say, it didn't last.

How could it when I didn't really believe in it in the first place?

I knew it wasn't meant for me. I knew it wasn't my place to be at. I wasn't comfortable. I wasn't happy. Too much, too soon, too frequently. So, I've returned to my old habits and I've never felt better.

The voice at the back of my head constantly tells me that returning to past mistakes would only lead to self destruction. But I believe in occasionally indulging in things that would make you feel good, and this makes me feel amazing.

I know there are many that may object - if you found out what I've been doing. You'd give me the disappointed speech, say it isn't worth it, try to convince me that where I am now is just the way I'm supposed to be.

Just so you know, I never believed you.

As crazy as it sounds, this is the way I like it and this is the way it is going to be.

I could be wrong, but I highly doubt it.

What do I have to lose?