take it all.

Needless to say, it didn't last.

How could it when I didn't really believe in it in the first place?

I knew it wasn't meant for me. I knew it wasn't my place to be at. I wasn't comfortable. I wasn't happy. Too much, too soon, too frequently. So, I've returned to my old habits and I've never felt better.

The voice at the back of my head constantly tells me that returning to past mistakes would only lead to self destruction. But I believe in occasionally indulging in things that would make you feel good, and this makes me feel amazing.

I know there are many that may object - if you found out what I've been doing. You'd give me the disappointed speech, say it isn't worth it, try to convince me that where I am now is just the way I'm supposed to be.

Just so you know, I never believed you.

As crazy as it sounds, this is the way I like it and this is the way it is going to be.

I could be wrong, but I highly doubt it.

What do I have to lose?