lets be more than this.

A few questions that I need to know,

How you could ever hurt me so,

I need to know what I've done wrong

and how long it's been going on.

To be honest, I haven't really thought about you in awhile. I've gotten over that. I won't deny however, that yes, occasionally, you do somewhat run through my mind. But I'd only be too quick to brush it off. If you're not dwelling on me, why should I dwell on you?

Was it that I never paid enough attention?
Or did I not give enough affection?
Not only will your answers keep me sane,
but I'll know never to make
the same mistake again.

Yet sometimes all I want to do is come back home and spend hours on the phone with you - just like we used to. Sometimes I think that things could return to how they are, to what I remember it us to be. But more often than not, I feel like this is a battle not worth fighting. Not when the prize refuses to be won.

You can tell me to my face,
or even on the phone,
You can write it in a letter,
either way, I have to know.
Did I never treat you right?
Did I always start the fight?
Either way, I'm going out of my mind,
All the answers to my questions
I have to find.

There's so many things I wish I could say to you, so many things I want to say to you. But I'm always stopped at the tracks, waiting (not so) patiently for the red light to change to green. Every attempt at piecing the thoughts together just results in words that sound so final.

But maybe that's just it. Maybe that's the only way it we can be - nothing.

We both knew too well that being friends just isn't for us.

I'm not crazy,
I'm sure I ain't done nothing wrong,
No, I'm just waiting,
'Cause I heard that this feeling won't last that long.

So with this goodbye, many questions are left unanswered. Why did you do the things you did leaving me the way I am? Why did you start things you knew you couldn't finish? What changed you? I've come to terms that despite what you say, you won't hand those answers on a silver platter.

I should have known better.

I'll keep searching,

Deep within my soul,

For all the answers,

Don't wanna hurt no more.

...and now I do.