pull myself together just to fall once more.

She's so sick of crying. She's so sick of breaking down. She's so sick of having no one to hold on to.

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I never knew pretending to be happy could be this hard. The past few weeks have been rather hard on poor little Jue. From the elections for Interact last week to intense cheer practices and the competition this weekend to just my own relationships with him and my friends. I swear, just a little nudge and my world might just come crumbling down...again.

Don't you dare call me a drama queen. This is my space, so I say what I want whenever I want to. Click the red button on the top right of your screen if you don't agree. Please and thank you. :)

Ooh. Jue is cranky. I'm just so exhausted. So exhausted from the show I've been putting up for everyone. The show must go on. So I plaster a bright white smile on my face and smile for everyone. I'm amazed no one can see right through, but hey, the less questions the better. Honestly, I have all these feelings inside of me. A whole m . i . x pudding of feelings but for the first time ever, I feel like I've got no one to go to. No one to rant to, no one to talk to so I could feel better again.

I miss the feeling of knowing I had someone to turn to whenever I needed a little boost. I've been drowning and drowning, and I just can't see that helping hand to pull me up to the surface. I just don't feel like anyone would understand what I'm going through. I'm dying to rant out to someone, but all I'll get is the "Are you crazy?" look or a laugh, they thinking it was a whole joke. Gee, thanks.

I just wanna feel l.o.v.e.d again. I miss that. I miss him. It's all going to end so soon. I'm so scared to know what's gonna happen next. What's in store for me in the future?

But then again, do I REALLY wanna know?

jue*you're the words that weren't enough.