Thursday, June 28, 2007

let's play truth or dare...

Just because I've been doing an awfully lot of reminiscing the past few days,

25th June 2006,

"I wanna say it, I miss you so much. On top of that, I really love you and when I say you're pretty, you don't have to deny. You looked damn pretty by the pool yesterday and you looked damn pretty when you were in the pool. You looked beautiful and to me you always will. There's just something about you. I don't know what, but it's nice :)."

28th June 2006,

"Sigh...now it's hard for me to sleep. The only one that I have left, the only one that's so special. The only one that I love now and always, the only one that I wanna care for. The only one that I'll be looking out for, the only one that I think of everyday but I still can't seem to get enough of. The only one that I miss so much, the only one that I want to be with. The only one that I wanna hold close, the only one that I see beautiful. The only one that I'll take a shot for, the only girl that I can only dream of being so close to. The only girl I've danced with and made me wanna dance even more with her. The only girl that knows things other people don't know, the only girl that I've cried for while singing a song she finds gay. The only girl that made me happy, the only that made me feel special. The only girl that I get worried sick if anything were to happen to her, the only girl that I look forward to talking to when I get home. There can only be one of you Manju. You are indeed very special to me. Do you want to take all those things I said about you away from me? Would you do such a thing? I'm really sorry and I don't wanna lose you. And your the only girl that I wanna spend my life understanding your feelings. I love you. Forgive me."

jue*...or maybe just dare because no one tells the truth anymore.

since you've been gone.

It's amazing how insignificant you can make me feel.

I'm erasing every memory of you. I hope you're happy now.

jue*if only he knew what was under her dress.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

kiss the boys then make them cry.


Thanks for the memories Josh

...even if they weren't so great.

jue*it's just so much easier to tell everyone i don't miss him than to explain all the reasons why i still do.

Monday, June 25, 2007

this is what happens when you mess with love.

The past three days have been filled with so many mixed emotions, I'm surprised I could feel so many things at once. One moment it'd be sheer joy, the next I'd be crying, then I'd be laughing my ass off again. My hormones are so unbalance it's amazing.

Thursday

Our biannual Open Day. While some had the pleasure of skipping school, I had to dutyfully get my ass in school just because I'm still a (insertfoullanguagehere) prefect. Leaving 20 minutes before the bell was supposed to ring isn't exactly considered a perk. And I must say, out of all the teachers that have ever talked to my parents, Puan Nor Laila gets the award for being the most honest. And by 'honest' I mean tell on us with petty things that she knows will eventually get us into trouble with the parentals. While receiving my results slip (which btw, wasn't all too bad considering there were people failing in my class&form), my dad insisted on making me look like a total idiot in front of teacher which was further followed with a 'Don't Give Me That Look' lecture on the way down to pay a visit to my Add Math teacher. Like thanks Pa, you win the award for Most Understanding Father.

I went back home to spend seven and a half hours in the kitchen to bake cupcakes for my school's carnival. It was crazy trying to run a one (wo)man show - measuring the ingredients while mixing the previous batch's batter while checking on the other batch in the oven and preparing for the next batch. Plus, due to my overly pow(d)erful Cina half of me, I insisted on baking from scratch cause it saves money. Like seriously.

Friday

I wasn't feeling very into things and I think it showed in school. My blood pressure definitely took a hike up, but that seems to be happening so often now, it doesn't even bother me anymore. After school was prefect meeting followed by tuition - the usual Friday deal. But everything after 4.30pm was just a whole bunch of crazyness compacted into seven hours. After pitching our brilliant cuppacake-like idea to the class, Nique&I were left with icing 500 over cupcakes for our school carnival the next day.

The both of us can be so close when it comes to certain things, but it's very apparent that the way we function are as different as well...two very different things. I'm the calculative one, analysing everything, calculating everything making sure it's possible to complete the given task in the given time frame. Nique however, is the take-it-as-it-comes one, choosing to solve a problem only after its a problem.

Eventually, we did get most of the cupcakes done, with the help of Shal (whom we managed to con into helping us). My parent's bedroom turned into a not-so-mini refrigerator storing boxes and boxes of cupcakes so the icing wouldn't melt. The things we do for cupcakes -_-.

Saturday

Woke up bright and early, got as dressed up as my school could possibly allow and headed off for my very last Sri Aman carnival. Well, one that I would be involved in la. Within the first five minutes, I already ran three rounds around the school to get this and get that. Within the next ten, I was already on my way to becoming a very burnt chicken cause God decided to make fun at us and scorch us with blazing heat. As the cupcakes were brought in batches, I had a pretty easy time giving out the ordered ones. Ran away from the stall by 10.00am and just walked around and around the school aimlessly with different people. Snuck Muzzie&Mei into the PR only to find my seniors there, so we left after a bit to face the (still) schorching heat.

I met&hung around with so many different people that day I'm too lazy to list them all down. Baiti introduced a drooling Mei, Hang and me to Daniel Tan who happens to be a friend of a friend of Baiti's. Now that was funny. Puan Usha getting dunked was pretty funny too. However, walking around school barefooted for half the day wasn't very funny.

Had 'Security' duty later for the Sri Aman Charity Concert which basically meant a free entry while we pretended to guard the doors. And by guarding the doors I mean sitting down with Adam and the gang, laughing our heads off at all the (lame) jokes they were making. Somewhere in between, a group of us started jumping at the side of the hall because we found out D*Starz had managed to clinch a rather good position in the Top 15 for the first day at cheer. Congrats girls :). Hung around a while more after a concert before going back home and practically KO-ing on my bed.

Sunday

While Sunday is usually the day people take a break from their hectic schedules for a day of rest and leisure, I spent Sunday getting up at 6.30 in the morning to get ready for Cheer. Despite several planned attempts, I had to scratch plans of going to cheer for both days and just settle for going for one. Better than nothing I suppose. It took me forever to finally get dressed and by the time I left the house, Kim msg-ed to tell me something just so he could torment me very early in the morning.

But because Lady Luck was on my side, my wish came true and I had eye candy for the next couple of stations. Crap, he reads this blog. Oh well. I was rather intimidated by the huge crowd of Dynamitez supporters while waiting for the Star train, but I guess that's something of a norm. Reached the stadium a little after 9, and I was off meeting people. Hee, one of the benefits of not performing at Cheer :).

I wished the team luck, saw my friends, met Mandy(!!), talked/gossiped with Jude, camwhored, made extra banners and drew stars onto everyone's faces - all before the competition started. Sad to say, the turn up was less than expected and our supporters area was rather pathetic. There must have been bad luck going around at Cheer considering 40 out of the 41 teams that performed on the first day did not have perfectly executed stunts. The second day however showed much improvement (in terms of less falls) and I was pretty impressed by the advancement of the stunts shown by the participating teams this year. Kudos to all :):). Oh, and Charm's performance was nothing short of breath taking. Me like <3.

In my opinion, Titans had a nice routine but I didn't like their dance and I shall forever remain prejudice towards them. Dynamitez&Shirtliff deserve much praise and even B*Starz for showing a lot of improvement. Unfortunately, D*Starz did not have perfect stunts as one of the flyers had overworked herself and injured her leg. It's alright, you guys were still mighty fantastic. I managed some time to meet up with Mandy&Kevin (again), Dan, Zam and Yun Kit and even some people by chance like Paul, Danil, Adlan, Marcia and Isabel. Saw plenty of others too. Joshua was my company for some part of the afternoon where he was being a total prick by using my phone to call certain people. I had fun though (except when the guards came). I promise to do that thing we were supposed to do the next time we meet up, kay? :). Like seriously. Seriously.

To no surprise, the trophy went back to Dynamitez while Shirtliff and Vulcanz All Boys completed the Top 3. I'm pretty shocked Xavier came in 14th, but I guess the new point system does make a difference. Waited quite a bit after the event was over while camwhoring some more. After jokes with Misha, videos with Berls and pictures with Warren, Hana and I went down to the blue mat to watch the Dynamitez interview and although I'm not part of the team, I'm still mighty proud of them :).

Took the train back with a bunch of guys & Aishah afterwards where (as usual) we made one hell of a noise. Joshua was on the train back too (gosh, I'm really lucky when it comes to train rides ;p). The boys did something utterly silly as they got out of the train and the handful of us who didn't get down at Asia Jaya were left to take the blame. Gee, thanks -_-.

All in all, my first year as a D*Starz supporter was a rather eventful one. I'm pretty sure I'll be remembering this in years to come! Gosh, I miss cheer.

And I'm still jealous Estelle had her name thing!

jue*and the forest will give us the answers.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

and i wonder if it even makes a difference to cry.

It's always nice to wake up in the morning with an extremely sweet and long message awaiting you in your phone's inbox;

"Dearest Manjuli :). I remember the first ever OU outing we went out :). You were wearing a black top with a black mini skirt and black heels kan? Goodness, I remember :). I also remember that you were holding ***'s hand the whole time. How sakit hati k! The FIRST thought that came to mind when I saw you was, 'Crap, THIS is Manjuli? The one that looked SO innocent at probie's seminar (which was the FIRST time I ever saw you)?'. You swept me off my feet that day ;). Little did I know that you would change my world :)."

That very same OU outing was exactly two years and three months ago. We've had our ups and downs, and that phase where we weren't talking wasn't all that fun, but I've enjoyed your company every bit of the way. Sayang my nyamuk :).

jue*one day i'll wake up and it won't hurt anymore.